Secrets and Lies
by JantoFan
Summary: Sequel to 'Secret'. Howard's life started the night he ran away when he was 16, and he's been running ever since. But there's only so long you can run from the past before it catches up with you....
1. Chapter 1

Naboo folded his arms and eyed the pair of them. "What the _hell_ is he doing here?"

Vince stuck up his chin defiantly. "You told me to do the right thing."

"And?"

"And this is the right thing for me."

Naboo looked between Howard and Vince. Howard began to feel uncomfortable; he hated that Naboo so rarely showed emotion. It was always so hard to tell what he was thinking.

"Well," he said eventually. "If that's what you want."

"It is."

Naboo glared at Howard. "I'm gonna be watching you though, yeah? Don't go trying any funny stuff."

Howard stifled a smile. Only Naboo could refer to murder and assassination as 'funny stuff'.

"That stuff's behind me now, Naboo. I promise."

......................................................

"Vince?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you seen glue stick number 5?"

"What?"

"And I'm missing paperclips 3 through 7."

Vince stared at him, unsure how to react. "Why…why do you want them?"

"Because they're missing from stationary village!"

Vince swallowed. "I thought you weren't gonna pretend anymore?"

"Who's pretending? Stationary village was always mine. Now have you seen them or not?"

Vince let out a snort of laughter. "It wasn't pretend?"

Howard glared at him. "Why is that funny? I like stationary."

"You don't really…I wouldn't have thought you would be…um…"

"I'll have you know I have a very nice pen collection from around the world. Now have you seen them or not, because you're starting to get on my nerves so if you can't help me I'd advise you go upstairs."

Vince got up and walked over to Howard, pressing a swift kiss on his lips before heading for the staircase.

"What was that for?" Howard called after him, confused. It was the first time Vince had kissed him since he'd returned 3 days ago.

"No reason." Vince replied, turning to smile at him. "Just…maybe you're not so different after all."

**3 months later**

Vince was bored. It was raining outside, which always meant one of two things. Either the shop would be full of people browsing the shelves but never buying anything who every now and again would glance out the window to see if they could leave yet; or the place would be completely deserted.

Today, seemingly, was the latter.

Howard had disappeared into town about half an hour ago to pick up a few things they needed, and ever since then Vince had been by himself. When the bell above the door sounded he didn't even bother looking up from his magazine. It was probably just someone sheltering from the rain. It took him over a minute before he realised he couldn't hear any of the usual 'browsing noises' - no shuffling, no flicking the LPs, no picking stuff up and putting it back down again…

Vince looked up and saw a woman standing in the middle of the shop. She wore a thick brown coat that looked about 3 sizes too big for her, and the little amount of hair he could see poking out from under her hat looked in desperate need of attention. She was making no effort to even pretend to browse the shelves, which Vince thought was a bit rude. If you were going to shelter in a shop you could at least pretend that's not what you're doing. He cleared his throat.

"Hi, can I help you?"

The woman shuffled nervously, her eyes darting around the shop. Vince frowned. She looked unusually pale.

"Are you ok, love?" Vince asked, standing up. "Do you need to sit down?"

"No. I'm fine. I'm just…I didn't expect him to…"

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine. I'll…come back later." she hurried out of the shop. Vince sat there for a second before getting up and wondering over to where she'd been stood, checking if anything had been nicked.

"Why are you staring at the merchandise?"

Vince jumped and looked round at Howard. He hadn't heard him come in. "Oh, it's nothing major. This woman came in and was acting really weird. I reckon she was on something. I was just checking if she'd nicked anything."

"And?"

Vince shrugged. "I dunno. I'm not sure what was on the shelves before."

Howard laughed and shook his head. "I don't know how you've managed to keep this job for so long, little man."

"It's because of my natural charisma." Vince grinned.

Howard laughed. "Of course it is."

"What? It is!"

Howard shook his head, still smiling. "Com on, get back to whatever it is you do when you're supposed to be working. I've got stock taking to do."

* * *

Another 2 hours passed without a single customer. Vince had kept himself amused by humming the most annoying song he could think of then stopping and looking innocent whenever Howard turned to glare at him, but even that was getting boring now. He looked up when he heard the bell above the door go. He got up and nudged Howard in the arm.

"That's her!" he said quietly.

"That's who?" Howard asked, not taking his eyes off the clipboard.

"That woman! The one who was in here earlier. I think she fancies you. She's staring at you."

Howard turned his head disinterestedly. As soon as he saw the woman standing in the middle of the shop he went white.

"Vince, go upstairs." he said quickly, in a tone that told Vince not to argue.

"What? Why?"

"Vince, please just go upstairs."

"Not until you tell me what's going on!"

"For fuck's sake will you just do what I tell you!" Howard shouted, slamming the clipboard down on the counter. Vince flinched. "I'm sorry." Howard said softly, stroking Vince's arm. "Just…please go upstairs?"

Vince nodded. "Ok." he leant up and pecked Howard on the lips before heading for the staircase.

Howard watched him go, before releasing a breath and turning to the woman.

"Hello, Miriam."

"Hello…Howard. It suits you, that name. I'd never have though it would, it just seems so…"

"What do you want?" Howard interrupted.

"Long time no see. How are you?"

Howard snorted. "Cut the crap, ok? You're not here to make small talk and we both know it. How did you find me?"

She shrugged. "You can find anyone if you look hard enough."

"What're you doing here, Miriam?" Howard asked impatiently.

"Do I need a reason?" She folded her arms and eyed him stonily. "Can't a girl just drop by to visit her big brother?"


	2. Chapter 2

"_It's not fair, Matty, I want to go __**out**__!"_

_The young boy smiled fondly at his sister. "You can't, not until dad and mummy-Kate have stopped fighting." He knew that the noises and shouts they could hear from the tiny sitting room had nothing to do with fighting but he felt that his sister, at only 4, was too young to learn about these things._

"_They're always fighting! It's not fair! I left my Barbie outside, she'll be cold!"_

"_She'll be fine. And if she's not you can tell her it's my fault, ok?"_

"_Tell me a story!" she demanded suddenly, completely forgetting about the plight of her doll now someone else had accepted any potential blame. He rolled his eyes._

"_Ok. What one?"_

"_Tell me about mummy again."_

_He closed his eyes and saw in his minds eye a haggard looking woman, old before her time, with messy brown hair and cheap clothes. He opened his eyes again._

"_She was beautiful. Her hair was always shiny and she wore big expensive dresses-"_

"_Like a princess!"_

_He smiled. "Exactly like a princess. And everyone who met her thought she was the most beautiful woman they'd ever seen. And for years she lived a happy life. She had two children who she loved more then anything in the world."_

"_Then what happened?"_

_He closed his eyes again and images sprang up in his mind. Walking in with his mother to see his dad and Kate together on the sofa. His mother crying and throwing things, although he hadn't understood why. How her screaming had reduced to whimpers as he saw his dad hit her. Her pleading for him to leave the kids alone. Her promise that she'd come back for them, that they wouldn't have to live with their father much longer… he opened his eyes._

"_She had to go away to help people. There's people in other countries who need help because they don't have enough food and stuff. So even though it meant she'd have to leave us, she went because it was the right thing to do. But she'll come back again. She promised." she'd promised him she'd come back, so she would. It didn't matter that it had been nearly 3 years since he'd last seen her. She'd promised him, and she wouldn't lie._

"_I miss her, Matty."_

_He wrapped his arms around his sister, wishing he could make it ok somehow. "I know, Miriam. I know."_

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Howard repeated.

"I told you. I came to see you."

"Miriam I've been doing this for a long time. I am bloody good at covering my tracks, so for you to find me must have taken a hell of a lot of time and money. So something tells me this isn't just a flying visit so _what_ _do you want_?!"

Uncertainty flooded her face and she looked away. "I want to know why."

"What?"

She looked back at him. "I want to know why." she repeated, louder. She took a step towards him. "I want to know why you ruined my life."

"Miriam…"

"He's pretty." Miriam said suddenly, inclining her head towards the staircase. "Where did you two meet?"

"That's not important."

"Not important. Of course not. You never thought the people who loved you were important, did you?"

"That's not fair, Miriam."

"I've spent at least 2 hours a week ever since That Day in therapy. I still have nightmares, wake up screaming. What about that is fair?"

"None of it." Howard reached out a hand towards her, dropping it again when she flinched slightly. "I swear if I could take back what happened to you I would."

"And Dad? And Kate? What about them?" she folded her arms, and Howard looked away. "And what about all the people you've killed since then. All the family members, friends, partners, all those people you've robbed of someone they loved. Would you take that back too?"

Howard frowned. "No." he said finally, looking back at her. "Not all of it, no."

"Of course not. Why would you, it paid enough." she looked around. "You know, I never pictured this. When he told me where you were I imagined some crack den, or a crappy flat with a stoner roommate. But this? A nice little flat? A shop job? You?" she paused, and comprehension dawned in her eyes. "This is just another cover isn't it? Another identity before you destroy someone else's life. Who's the target then? The skinny guy? What, are you sleeping with your victims now?"

"He's not my 'victim'. And no, this isn't a Job." she looked disbelieving. "It started out as one." he admitted. "A simple hit, shouldn't have been a problem. Only then I got too involved, with this life and with Vince, and so I stayed."

"And he…?"

"Knows everything."

"Everything. Huh. So he knows you murdered your father and his girlfriend in cold blood? That you tried to kill _me_?" Howard said nothing. "He doesn't, does he? Gloss that part out, did you?"

"I didn't mean to kill her." Howard said. "Any more than I meant to hurt you."

"And yet you did it anyway."

"Miri, please…"

"Don't call me that. Don't you _dare_ call me that."

Howard sighed. "I've changed, Miriam. I'm not the person I was back then."

"You mean a lying, murderous, thieving bastard?" she shook her head. "That's exactly what you are, what you'll always be. You think people like you get a second chance? Think again."

Howard stepped towards her then froze as something she'd said finally filtered through his mind. "Who?"

"What?"

"You said 'When he first told me'. When who first told you?"

"Oh, I almost forgot. Charles says hi. Said he'll call round later." she smiled. "I'll see myself out."

Howard stared at the door for what felt like hours after she'd gone, his mind whirring in shock.

"Howard?" Vince's timid voice punctured through his thoughts.

"How long have you been there?"

"The whole time. I just stood round the corner where you couldn't see me."

"You're a nosy little tit, aren't you?"

There was no emotion in Howard's voice, and that scared Vince more than if he'd been angry. He walked towards him, stopping a few meters away.

"Howard, who's Charles?"

Howard stayed silent for over a minute. "Someone I really, really don't want to see again."

Vince nodded. He bit his lip, aware he might not want to know the answer to his next question. "Howard…she said you murdered your dad. I mean…um…Howard?"

Howard looked at him. "I need a drink." he muttered, walking past Vince and up to the flat. Vince quickly locked the door, turning the sign around, and followed him. By the time he got upstairs, Howard was sat on the sofa pouring himself a generous scotch. Vince sat down next to him.

"Howard?"

"Leave it, Vince."

"No." Howard looked up at him in surprise, but Vince didn't give him a chance to say anything. "Damn it, Howard, you told me not to ask about what you did when you were younger, or your name, and I haven't have I? I knew you wanted to change and leave everything you'd done in the past. Only now a massive chunk of that past has come crashing into our lives, and the look on your face when she said that man's name tells me that this is fucking serious, and probably dangerous, and that affects me as well. So don't tell me to leave it! I am _asking _you to tell me what happened." Howard stayed silent for so long, Vince thought he wasn't going to answer.

"She's my sister."

"I know, I heard."

Howard nodded. "Our mum left when I was 5. We got home from a trip to the shops to find my dad and his girlfriend…_together_. I can only remember bits and pieces, but I remember him hitting her. And I don't think I ever saw her again after that night. I don't know what happened to her."

Vince shuffled closer and placed a tentative hand on his arm. "It must have been hard. Not having her around."

"I didn't understand why she'd gone. All I knew was that suddenly this new woman, Kate, had moved in and we were supposed to call her 'mum'." he shook his head. "I hated her. Her and dad. But I got by. Then, when I was 12, I joined a gang. I wanted to rebel."

"A gang?"

"Well we called ourselves a gang. It was a group of people from the local foster home. It was just kids stuff - breaking and entering, stealing, that sort of thing. We mugged people sometimes, pretending to have knives when we didn't really. After a while, though, that wasn't enough. I wanted to target the rich people, I was sick of just getting to odd 20 Euro note for my troubles. Only the richer the target, the more stupid. It's like having money insulated them from things like muggers. They talked back, they challenged you, and if you were challenged and didn't really have a weapon then you had to run, or it would ruin the illusion." he swallowed. "So I started carrying for real. I made more money in those few months than I knew what to do with. I was only a kid, after all. Then, when I was 13, I got caught." his eyes grew distant. "Dad was furious. He'd hit me before when he was drunk, but nothing like that. I actually thought he would kill me." he looked up at Vince as though expecting him to say something, but the younger man stayed silent. Howard took a breath and continued. "I didn't stop, of course. I joined a different gang, one that wasn't afraid to carry, to hurt people…or worse… to get what we wanted." he shuddered. "I stayed out of trouble for a while, meaning I didn't get caught. Then , when I was 16, it happened."

"What happened?"

"Charles."

* * *

_He ignored the black car the first few times it drove past him. After all, for all he knew it was someone lost. No sense in being over cautious. It was only when he turned onto a deserted side street and it followed that he realised it had been tailing him. He turned and glared at the car, which instantly sped up._

_Idiot. He thought angrily. It was probably just someone on a windup. He became less sure when the car pulled up next to the pavement a few meters in front of him and the back window rolled down. He paused, uncertain whether he should run._

"_Get in the car please." came an educated British voice from inside._

"_I'm going no-where with you, mate."_

"_Get in, I'd hate to have to force you."_

_He glanced up and down the street, considered running off, then decided against it. Whoever this man was he'd probably only get someone to go after him. He pulled open the door and climbed in. He sat down and appraised the man opposite. He looked about mid 40s, although he could have been younger. He wore an expensive looking suit, and a watch that looked like it cost the same as several years of his dad's salary._

"_My name is Charles Ingram."_

"_Matty."_

"_I've been watching you, Matty. I have a job for you."_

"_Not interested. I already got a crew, I'm with Ricky's lot."_

"_I know, like I said, I've been watching you. I believe you could be what I'm looking for."_

"_I'm. Not. Interested. Now let me out of the car."_

_Charles smiled, although anger flashed in his cool blue eyes. "Your loyalty is admirable, if a little stupid." he closed his eyes briefly, then smiled. "Someone has stolen something of mine. I want you to recover it."_

_Recover a stolen item? This man was clearly loaded, so it stood to reason the item was worth a lot. Which meant him recovering it would be worth a lot too. Loyalty was one thing, but if this was worth a lot of money…_

"_Why me?"_

_Charles smiled. "You could pull it off."_

_He mulled it over. "Hypothetically - if I were gonna do it, which I haven't said I am - Who's the target?"_

"_George Bardensis."_

_All thoughts of expensive gadgets and a better weapon flew instantly out of his mind and he shook his head. "Nuh-uh, you've got the wrong guy. I get caught he'll send someone after me. I'm not stupid enough to break into his place."_

"_I'll give you 10."_

_He gaped at Charles. "10 __**grand**__?"_

"_Well I don't think 10 Euros quite cuts it."_

"_10,000. Euros." he didn't want to risk his life and then be handed 10,000 pesetas by some idiot who thought he was being funny._

"_10,000 Euros, in cash, upon completion." Charles frowned at him. "This is a one time offer. I'm aware you're young, much too young in my opinion, but you've built yourself something of a reputation. And in less than two years as well, and that makes you catch my attention."_

"_Reputation?"_

"_You can get in and out of a locked building without anyone knowing you've been there. You can pick a lock quicker than anyone. You can crack a safe in under 5 minutes. You are, in short, exactly what I need."_

* * *

"He wanted me to steal something for him. Offered to pay me ten thousand Euros. He claimed it was stolen from him in the first place. -whether it was or not I didn't care, I just cared that he was going to pay me. So I broke into this guy's place, found the item…"

"What was it? Must have been worth a lot."

"No idea. It was just an envelope. And then…_he _walked in."

"Who?"

"The current owner of said envelope. George Bardensis, his name was. Well, that fucked everything up. If he knew I'd stolen from him he'd send people after me. After my family. And I didn't want him to hurt Miri. So I did the first thing I could think of, and I ran at him. Took him by surprise, I think he thought I was going to go for the window. It wasn't going to be much of a fight - he was bigger and stronger than me - but I got lucky. There was this ornament thing on a table near him, it'd fallen to the floor. He was choking me, and I grabbed it, and I hit him. Again, and again, and again. And then when I calmed down…he was dead." Howard turned to face him, and the way his eyes shone sent a jolt of fear and nausea to Vince's stomach. "The rush from killing someone…it was unforgettable. Unexplainable. It makes you feel untouchable. Better then any drug." he shook his head. "I worked for Charles several times after that. He never got me to kill anyone though, I think a part of him was still very aware I was a child. Not that I'd have admitted it, I thought I knew it all, thought I was old enough to handle anything." his face darkened. "So I decided to handle the one thing I thought had ruined everything for me."

"Your dad."

"I waited until Kate and Miriam were out, and I went round. He'd kicked me out a while before, but I'd kept my key, so I let myself in. Stupid bastard was drunk, as usual. I asked him what happened to mum, and he laughed at me. Said it was none of my concern. So I told him I was taking Miriam with me, I wasn't leaving her. He kept laughing at me, and I just kept getting angrier and…I snapped. I hit him, then I…" he glanced at Vince. "I'm not going into detail of what I did. I don't want you to know."

"I'm not a kid, Howard."

"I know you're not, but this wasn't like what…what you know I've done. This was…messy." he swallowed. "They came back early, Miri and Kate. I heard the door slam, I heard Kate yell at her, I heard Miriam's bedroom door slam…and then Kate walked into the room where we were. And she screamed…" he shook his head. "I just wanted her to stop screaming. It wasn't about her, she wasn't even supposed to be there. I pointed a knife at her and told her to be quiet, and she did. I was going to leave, I wouldn't have hurt her or Miri, only…she must have decided she could handle me, that she could take me down. She ran at me, and I didn't have time to move the knife…" he clenched his fists. "And then I turned and saw Miriam in the doorway. The way she looked at me…and then she screamed."

Vince felt sick. "Tell me you didn't try and…she was a child…"

"It was all going so wrong, I panicked. I pressed a knife to my baby sister's throat and I told her I'd cut her if she didn't shut up, and it killed me. I wouldn't have done it, I swear to God I wouldn't. She was so scared…and so I pushed her away, and I ran. I hid out for a few days, then I went to Charles. He brought me to London, took me under his wing. Lucky for me, I'd never have survived without him. What I was used to was _nothing_ compared to some of the people I met here. Charles trained me, he made me learn a couple languages, he taught me how to use a gun, he gave me a source of income. But it wasn't enough for me, I was targeting squealers and people with unpaid debts. I wanted more. So one day I cleared his safe of 3 million euros and I ran away from him, too. Kept changing my identity with every job, and as I got better I got noticed. People would put the word out that they wanted me, and then I would contact them. No-one knew what I looked like, they were given a bank account number over the phone, and I was given the name of who I was to go after. And it worked, until Naboo. Then I got sloppy, the client found out who I was, and everything started to unravel."

"And now he's found you. He's found Howard Moon."

Howard looked at him quickly. "Vince, I'm not going to run away again."

"Yes you are. He'll kill you."

"I'm tired of running. I've been doing it for far too long. And if I can't have this life, with you, then he can do his worst because I'm sick of it." he gazed at Vince intently. "I'm giving you an out. If you want me to leave, say the word and I'll go."

Vince considered him. "What's your name?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Your name. You've told me everything but who you used to be."

Howard hesitated. "My name was Matty...Mathew. Mathew Stone."

"I could look up the details of what you did now you know. You can't stop me."

"I know."

"But I'm not going to."

Howard looked up. "Why not?"

"Because it wasn't you."

Howard frowned, confused. "But…"

"It was him. It was Matty. Not you. I know who you are now, and I don't need to know who you were then." he rested his head on Howard's shoulder, and after a second Howard's arm came up and pulled him close. "And you're staying here. We're going to stick together for this, like we always do."

"You could get hurt."

Vince bit his lip. "I know."


End file.
